We often assume that children and young people are unable to appropriately understand and comprehend the gravity of serious situations. However, kids are also able to sense the tensions that are present among family members. Telling the kids about dementia and their grandparents’ decline in health would help them reduce the stress and cope better with the situation. 

How to explain dementia to kids

When explaining the concept of dementia to children, it is essential to keep certain things in mind, such as using clear and consistent language to help them grasp the disorder better. Using simple terms and analogies will help them to understand the disorder better. [1]

Statements such as “Grandma’s brain is like a flashlight, which may become fuzzy when the battery is low” or “Grandpa’s brain is like a library, and the memories are books, and the books sometimes get mixed up or lost” would help younger children understand the disorder and its effects on their grandparents. 

It is also essential that parents understand the importance of several other factors, which may help the kids effectively understand what dementia is. Some such factors include the type of relationship which the children had with their grandparents, how close the bond between the grandparent and the grandchild is, whether they live with the family or in an assisted living facility, how old the child is, and how the progression of the disorder will impact the children.

Parents have to validate the feelings of these children. It is terrifying and upsetting to know that your grandparent is suffering and may sometimes forget you. Common feelings that may arise include:

1. Sadness about the various changes in their loved one, which they may not fully understand. The parents should ideally provide the children with comfort about the situation, which would help them develop healthy coping with the situation.

2. Feelings of being unloved or disregarded by the behavior of their grandparent. The parents must reassure the children about how their grandparents love and appreciate them, even when they may not fully recognise them. 

3. Worry about the health and safety of their grandparents, or about contracting dementia too. The parents should use simple language to explain how their grandparents will be in the safe hands of medical professionals, and that dementia is not a contagious disease, but rather a degenerative one. 

4. Anger, frustration, and guilt for having to repeat things over and over, or having lashed out at them. These feelings and reactions are normal. It helps to reassure them that their grandparents understand and care for them, and more importantly, forgive them. [2] [3] [4] [5]

Tips for talking about dementia

Talking about a disorder with kids is difficult; however, not impossible. Some important tips to keep in mind while discussing such topics with children are:

1. Let them ask any questions they may have. Remind them that you are always available for conversation. Additionally, you might schedule a regular time when they can talk to you alone or engage in activities together.

2. Recognise the weird things that are occurring. This could involve the dementia patient losing track of their location or failing to identify family members. Additionally, the person may act and say inappropriate things. This may have been observed by the youngster or young person.

3. Pay attention to what the individual suffering from dementia is still capable of doing. Describe the items that the person finds more challenging. Give instances of how you have assisted the person in adjusting. 

4. Make an effort to be patient. It could be necessary for you to reiterate your explanations at certain points. The child or young person may absorb different information at different times. Their age, disposition, and comprehension ability will all play a role in this.

5. Provide them with a lot of emotional support. Hugs when appropriate, as well as kind words and actions, can accomplish this. Assure them that you are all in this together and that they are not alone.

6. Make use of podcasts, books, and internet videos. After a discussion, these can assist in explaining what dementia is. They can also assist in elucidating challenging circumstances and potential experiences of the dementia sufferer. [6] [1]

Many are confused about dementia and Alzheimer's. Kids are no different. One of the finest things we can do is to educate ourselves about what they might be going through.

References:

1. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/living-with-dementia/explain-dementia-children-young-people 

2. https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/kids/talking-kids-about-dementia

3. https://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/kids/juniors/what-is-dementia/ 

4. https://www.caregivercalifornia.org/2023/12/05/navigating-dementia-with-kids-a-guide-for-explaining-and-supporting-them/ 

5. https://www.bljsolicitors.co.uk/blog/gentle-ways-to-explain-dementia-to-kids-of-all-ages/ 

6. https://www.caregivercalifornia.org/2023/12/05/navigating-dementia-with-kids-a-guide-for-explaining-and-supporting-them/ 

7. https://legacyridgeliving.com/explaining-dementia-to-kids/