Caring for a parent with dementia is a journey filled with emotions, struggles and obstacles. With the progress of dementia, communication can become more stressful. As there is a progressive cognitive decline, the understanding and command on language comprehension declines as well. Understanding the struggles of seniors with dementia and how it affects their communication can help in more effective communication among individuals. 

Dementia affects areas of the brain, specifically the prefrontal and temporal lobes, which are responsible for language, memory, and reasoning. A parent with dementia might struggle to find the right words, repeat themselves, lose track of conversations, or misunderstand what’s being said. Over time, they may also become more sensitive to tone of voice and non-verbal cues as apposed to the actual words used. [1]

Tips for Effective Communication:

While changing the way the seniors understand language cannot be changed, the way caregivers communicate and express themselves can be changed. Some tips for better and more effective communication are as follows:

1. Use Simple and clear language: It is advised to use short and straightforward sentences. Instead of stating, “Do you want to go for a walk after you finish your tea?” try, “Let’s go for a walk after tea.” Jargon, abstract ideas as well as too many options should be avoided so as to not cause confusion. 

2. Speak in a calm and slow manner: Maintaining a gentle tone and a relaxed pace while talking can help your parents process what you are saying. People with dementia tend to be more sensitive to tonal shifts and changes. 

3. Increase reliance on non-verbal cues: Gestures, facial expressions, and even touch (when appropriate) can convey reassurance and intent. For instance, pointing toward the dining room while saying “Dinner time” reinforces your message visually.

4. Reduce and minimize distractions in the environment: Turn off the TV or radio and maintain eye contact during conversations. A quiet and focused environment supports better understanding.

5. Provide time, patience and compassion while waiting for responses: Allow extra time for your parents to process and respond. Interrupting or rushing can increase their anxiety. If they get stuck on a word, gently offer it, try not to correct them harshly. [2] [4]

Even with the best intentions, it’s normal to feel frustrated sometimes. It is important to keep in mind to breathe and reset. Take a break, pause, breathe and try again after a break. It is best to redirect the conversation or avoid engaging in an argument in the situation where the parent may be insistent on something incorrect or forgotten. Redirection to a positive memory can be helpful. Acknowledgement and celebration of small wins, such as taking medication, should be encouraged. A smile, a laugh, or even a shared silence can be a form of connection. Joining caregiver support groups would provide the family and caretakers with emotional relief, advice and other support and benefits. [3]

Some conversations, especially those involving health, safety, or long-term care plans, can be particularly difficult to navigate with a parent who has dementia. These discussions require sensitivity, timing, and a compassionate approach to ensure your parents feel respected and understood. One of the most important factors is selecting the appropriate moment to try to initiate these conversations. These conversations can be initiated during times when your parents are most alert and at ease, which is often earlier in the day. A calm, quiet environment can also help reduce anxiety and make the conversation more productive.

Direct statements like “You can’t live alone anymore” can feel abrupt and disempowering. Instead, opt for gentler phrasing, such as “Let’s talk about ways to help you feel more comfortable and safe at home.” This kind of language conveys empathy and shows that your goal is their well-being. Using inclusive language like “we” rather than “you” can also make a big difference. Saying, “We’re going to talk to the doctor together” fosters a sense of partnership and shared responsibility, while “You need to see a doctor” might feel isolating or accusatory. [4]

Whenever possible, involve your parents in the decision-making process, even if their ability to participate is limited. Offering simple choices or asking for their preferences helps preserve their dignity and autonomy. These small gestures can ease resistance and promote a sense of agency, which is crucial for maintaining trust and emotional connection during challenging discussions. [5]

Effective communication goes beyond just exchanging information; it’s about building trust, preserving dignity, and expressing love. When you approach conversations with empathy, patience, and adaptability, it reduces stress for both you and your parents. It also fosters a sense of connection that transcends the cognitive limitations dementia imposes. For caregivers, this kind of communication can become a source of emotional relief, reminding them that their presence and compassion truly make a difference. For those with dementia, it offers a sense of safety, validation, and continued belonging. Both sides of the conversation benefit greatly from the effectiveness of appropriate communication.

References:

1. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dementia/living-with-dementia/communication 

2. https://www.cadabams.org/blog/how-to-talk-to-a-parent-with-dementia 

3. https://www.dementia.org.au/living-dementia/staying-connected/talking-someone-dementia 

4. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/how-to-communicate-dementia 

5. https://care.samarth.community/blog/memory-cognition/how-to-talk-to-parent-with-dementia 

6. https://www.dementiauk.org/information-and-support/living-with-dementia/tips-for-communication/