It can be a unique and touching experience to build interactions and friendships with grandparents. However, as they begin to exhibit symptoms of dementia, it can also become difficult. Witnessing a loved one's memory and behavior change as a teenager can be perplexing or even stressful. The purpose of this guide is to explain dementia, how it impacts your grandparents, and how you can continue to have meaningful interactions with them. You'll find that your relationship may get even closer with a little love, understanding, and patience.

What is Dementia? 

Dementia is a general term for a group of memory related disorders which affect one’s thinking, social abilities, and recognition and recollection. There are several diseases that can cause dementia, hence it is not a specialized disease of its own. One key factor in identifying dementia is the aspect of memory loss. However, one must be aware that all memory loss is not always linked to dementia. 

The most common type of dementia is known as Alzheimer’s. Dementia leads to difficulties and reduction in memory, language, thinking, reasoning, cognition, mood, and behavior. 

Common Symptoms of dementia

Dementia has many symptoms that are easily identifiable and recognizable by the common public. While certain symptoms may go away or only arise in the latter stages of dementia, the majority get worse over time. The need for assistance with personal care grows as the illness worsens. People with dementia may have trouble eating and drinking, lose control over their bladder and bowls, have trouble moving around, become unable to recognize friends or family, and exhibit aggressive or other behavioral changes that are upsetting to both the person with dementia and those around them.

 Early symptoms of dementia include:

Dementia and Communication

Communication with persons with dementia can be filled with hurdles. The way you communicate with your grandparents who have dementia can change over time.  It can lead to upsetting emotions and frustration. However, a few key things to keep in mind during the process of interaction with someone with dementia are listed below. 

1. Increase in memory problems: People with dementia may have difficulty remembering words or names, leading to disruptions in communication. They may replace words with unrelated or incorrect ones. This can make it difficult to understand current events and result in disconnected or repetitious talks. 

2. Impairments in the language used: As dementia progresses, individuals struggle to find the correct words, resulting in slower responses or frustration. Speech may become less structured, with people speaking in fragmented phrases or losing track of what they were saying mid-conversation.

3. Inability to understand body language and expressions: Dementia can affect the capacity to comprehend facial expressions, gestures, and tone, making it difficult to understand the emotions underlying words. Dementia patients may fail to articulate their emotions at times, and nonverbal indicators (such as a smile or frown) may not always correspond to their words.

4. Repeating a thought or question: Individuals may unintentionally ask the same questions or repeat stories, which can indicate short-term memory loss. They may become fixated on specific themes or words, making interactions feel repetitive.

5. Facing difficulties with complex conversations: Dementia can make it difficult for people to follow fast-paced or abstract conversations. They may require more time to digest what is being stated. Discussions with various concepts or lengthy explanations may overwhelm them, resulting in diverting or avoiding talks.

6. Social withdrawal and mood swings: Frustration with communication challenges might cause mood swings, impatience, or worried behavior, making talks more difficult. Some people may avoid talking when their communication abilities deteriorate, which can lead to isolation.

Five Tips for Effective Communication

Prior to communicating with someone with dementia, it must be ensured that the individual is comfortable. One must ensure that the environment is not too noisy, the lighting is not too bright, the individual is not hungry or in pain and also ensure to make the best use of the times when their memory seems more intact. One must also be considerate about the topic of communication.  A few tips for teens to effectively communicate with their grandparents include:

Tip 1: Maintain a friendly tone

Dementia patients frequently pick up on the emotional tone of a conversation. They could become nervous or worried if they sense you are impatient or frustrated. Your grandparent will probably sense your feelings and may feel overwhelmed or bewildered by changes in their memory or way of thinking. They feel more at ease and relaxed when you talk to them gently and slowly.

Try to maintain your composure and speak in a gentle, courteous tone even if you're anxious or uncertain. When your grandparent is upset, try talking to them in a soothing tone, much like you would with a younger sibling or friend. Even if they are unable to react effectively, you can reassure them by smiling or holding their hand softly while you speak.

Tip 2: Use simple language 

People with dementia may find it challenging to comprehend abstract concepts or complicated language. They may become frustrated if you give them too much information at once. Your grandparent's dementia makes it difficult for them to follow complex conversations. Shorter phrases and simpler language aid in their understanding.

Example: Rather than asking, "Grandma, should we wait until after lunch or do you want to go outside now?" Consider segmenting it into more manageable inquiries, such as "Grandma, would you like to go outside?" After she answers, you can ask, "What do you think about us going now or after lunch?" This allows her to take in all of what you're saying. 

If necessary, don't be hesitant to repeat yourself. Just calmly repeat it if your grandparent didn't comprehend the first time. Being patient with your grandparents is crucial. 

Tip 3: Give your grandparents time to respond

Dementia slows down the processing of information and speech. Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity could arise if you rush them to respond quicker. It can take your grandparents longer to comprehend what you're saying and come up with an answer. They may feel under pressure or ashamed if you rush them. 

Even if it seems like it's taking a while, have patience and wait for their response once you've asked a question. You can gently lead them if they appear stuck by giving them a choice or a tip, such as "Do you think we should take a walk now?" To demonstrate your respect for their ideas and feelings. Refrain from interrupting them or finishing their sentences for them.

If your grandparent has trouble speaking, observe their body language and facial emotions. You may sometimes tell what someone is thinking by their smile or nod.

Tip 4: Utilize non-verbal communication

People with dementia often rely on visual or physical cues to comprehend the world around them, as verbal communication becomes more difficult. Your grandparents will rely more on their senses of sight and touch to comprehend discussions as their speech skills deteriorate. It may be simpler for them to understand what is occurring if you provide physical or visual signals.

Try showing rather than just telling when words are insufficient. If you want them to sit down, for instance, gently lead them to the chair or gesture toward it and say, "Let's sit here." To help convey your statement, you can also use gestures like pointing, waving, and nodding.

Even if they're having trouble following the conversation, making eye contact and providing a pleasant touch, such as a shoulder pat or handshake, can reassure them and make them feel included.

Tip 5: Focus on the present

The ability to focus for dementia patients deteriorates, hence focusing in a loud or a busy environment is more difficult. Your grandparents may struggle to concentrate or remember things in noisy environments. Their uncertainty can be lessened and communication facilitated by keeping things straightforward and in the moment. 

Make an effort to speak with your grandparents in a place that is calm and free from outside influences and distractions. Try to stray away from background noise like a loud TV or people talking at once. Focus on the present moment rather than trying to bring up recollections or memories of the past. 

Say something like, “Look at the flowers outside!” could be an example. Trying to ask more direct questions with simple single word responses such as yes or no could also be beneficial. Asking something like “Do you want water?” rather than “What would you like to drink?” is easier for them to process and respond to. 

When communicating with a person with dementia, try NOT to:

Self-Care for Teenagers

Self-care is important for everyone, but especially for teenagers. It is a necessity, not a luxury. Plenty of times, you cannot look after those in your family when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally depleted. Some tips for self care include, but not limited to:

1. Talking about your feelings: You could feel overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions that come with being a caretaker for a family member with dementia. These feelings could include sadness, anger or frustration, which could be dangerous to your mental wellbeing if bottled up. 

2. Taking breaks to recharge: You need to take care of yourself by taking breaks. Constantly thinking about others' feelings could lead to you feeling overburdened, and eventually burnt out. 

3. Socialize and stay connected: Staying connected to your friends can help you realize that you are not alone. It also acts as a reminder that you are allowed to have fun, laugh and enjoy life despite having a difficult time at home. 

4. Get physically active: Exercising can relieve stress and release endorphins which make you feel better. It helps with channeling frustration or sadness with a healthy outlet. 

Conclusion

Dementia is a complex disorder that affects the brain, causing memory loss, confusion, and behavioral abnormalities. Common symptoms include amnesia, difficulty reasoning, mood swings, and difficulty recognizing family members. These changes might make communication difficult, as your grandparents may struggle to find the proper words, follow discussions, or even recall who you are at times.

However, with the appropriate technique, you can still maintain a meaningful relationship. Remember these five recommendations for good communication: be patient, use basic language, rely on nonverbal cues, be friendly, and focus on what is going on in the present. These ideas will help you and your grandparents have more comfortable talks.

Finally, remember to take care of yourself. Watching a loved family member develop dementia can be emotionally draining, so make sure you have someone to talk to, schedule time for things you enjoy, and use mindfulness or relaxation techniques to reduce stress. By balancing your care for them with your own, you'll be in a better position to provide the love and support they require.

References:

1. Dementia - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
2. Dementia
3. What is dementia? Symptoms, causes and treatments
4. Dementia: Symptoms, Types, Causes, Treatment & Risk Factors
5. Communicating and dementia | Alzheimer's Society
6. Dementia - communication - Better Health Channel
7. Arms Around Both Generations: Caring for Teens and Aging Parents - Washington FAMILY Magazine 
8. How to Manage Sandwich Generation Stress: 5 Tips to Help You Care for Your Parents, Your Kids, and Yourself